Posts tagged ‘Opinion’

October 3, 2011

Girly Tip #12 this isn’t “tag”, stop the chase.

by T

Ah, the sweet,innocent (for most at least) elementary grade school days, where your biggest worry would be whether your best friend would change her strawberry milk for your chocolate at lunch time. Or whether Mrs. Strait would give you an “extra star today for being extra sweeeetttttt!” Awww, its so nostalgic it makes me want to throw the thirty pound mass attached to my back out the window, and take out the foam mat, blankie, and Welchs grape juice box.

Ok, whoever can say all their ABCs will get an EXTRA sprinkled sugar cookie for snack time today!

No bills to pay. No homework to worry about. No annoying junk mail in your e-mail inbox. And the only orange colored people on the TV screen were the oompa-loompas. Oh, but there is one thing some Girlys have taken from the golden years. The game of Tag.

Now some of you are guilty as charged with playing a grown up version of Tag. Your interested in a guy, he is interested in you, but you don’t let him know your that interested so you trick yourself into thinking you have the upper hand (which we have ALREADY… it’s called your vagina. Yeah, I said it) so you won’t seem like a “slut” to your other closet slut friends that are telling you “Girllllllll, don’t call HIM, have him call YOU, have him pick you up and pay for the dinner and pay pay pay pay, cause that is the ONLY way you will know if he really likes you.” Cause OBVIOUSLY guys that just generally like you throw cash at you every time they see you. We have a name for women that guys throw cash at: Strippers.

stripper

Stop it! Stop with the back and forth game of tag. Tag your it! Now tag YOUR it! It is annoying, it promotes this thing called blue balls (Yeah, we will go along with this blue balls thing… for now. :p), and he will probably trash talk about you to his boys. One thing women fail to realize about men, if they want the vagina, they will exhaust every option until they get the vagina. They are persistent, especially when its harder to get. So whether you play this in life Tag game for three weeks, three months, or three years (wow) if he wants the vag that bad, he will most likely wait it out.

NOW, on the other side is the sweet guy that actually likes you, and only wants your vagina after getting to know you first. Playing Tag may send him to play in the sandbox with a more understanding young lady. Thus, leaving you single, alone, and defenseless against jerkface (who is always on the prowl.) And even more annoying, your closet slut friends will totally change ideologies on you with the famous line of…

“I told you so!”

So remember these three words when you think about playing Tag: Single, alone, blue balls. And…. don’t read this with your kids, it will just ruin it for the poor things.

xoxo,

T

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September 27, 2011

The Watered-Downed Bitch.

by T

Ok, I’ll be honest. I have a slew of post ready for this blog. Like, a legit cattle line of blog ideas.

Blog ideas come to me at anytime. Even in my nightmares. They keep me up at night, they come to me in the shower, they even come to me during sex. Seriously.

But I did not feel like working on all of those tonight. Because I was watching Bad Girls Club. Haha. It should be a sin, in fact I think it is quite immoral watching such nonsense sometimes. But what can I say? I am a reality TV slut for girl drama, or guido drama.

I literally can not count the times I hear the word “bitch” on this show. I have heard it so much in fact that I am nearly numb to the word. The word must be imprinted in their brains. Bitch that, Bitch this, Bitch eat this cereal! Is there some kind of “bitch” clause in their contracts? I can just hear the producers of BGC saying this:

Now Miss Judy you are aware that this is the Bad Girls Club, where you will act like a total mindless, alcohol filled, sex driven woman and have sex with various men. As part of your contract, you MUST provoke violent actions out of the other girls, get your gluteus maximus beaten, and use the word “bitch” a total of 1,234 times.

The word “bitch” is watered down so much that it almost has no real meaning anymore. I am guilty of using it among my girlfriends, but does that make it right? Or is it girls taking back ownership of a word that is somewhat oppressive? Tell me your thoughts.

xoxo,

T