Seven Page Paper!? (Jumps Out Window)

by T

You know what, I am sick.
I am sick AND tired of hearing students complain about college work. In particular, I am sick about the roundabout groaning and loathing about page lengths.

Omg! WTFFFF!! A 7 page paper! Is she even serious? Like, I can’t even come up with 3 pages. How the heck am I going to do this?

I don’t even know what to write! WAHHHH!! MOMMMYYYYY! Help me, please please please. Cause I came to college and thought we only write five paragraphs. It is so hard. And I just got ANOTHER four page paper.

And get a grip on the real world.
You pay for college for a reason, or your one of the lucky ones that got a full ride because either:

a. Your smarter than the average human.
b. Your blowing someone.
c. Your good at running.

Otherwise, you are paying for college because some old lady with an unusual amount of SAT practice books told you that it would be a good idea, and you will make a million more dollars in your lifetime that you will never see, cause your wasteful… and a whiner.

In college there are essays, term papers, research papers, feature stories, creative stories, and if your really ambitious you may throw in a dissertation to make things a little interesting.

You can just quit. Because you knew darn well when you got the syllabus that you would get a paper. So unless you hire a hit man to wipe out your professor (don’t even think about it),  the paper is still due and will still exist.

So here are a few tips, if you want to give up your whining career.

  • Understand the topic and requirements– One thing I hear a lot among my peers (that complain) is that they “don’t understand what they are writing about.” And what do most of them do after saying that? Nothing. Understanding what you are doing can make that 7 page paper seem much shorter when you know all the information that you will include and formatting. Number one person to go to when your confused: your professor.
  • Meet with your professor– Yes, they aren’t just there to write endlessly on a white board for an hour and a half. They actually want to help you. Going to office hours not only gives you one on one time to clear that cloud of confusion, but also allows you to get to know your professor. Cause, ya know, they are more likely (and willing) to write a better recommendation letter when they know who you are. Aside from that, if you have written a draft of your paper, some professors will critique it for you. No better way to better your paper from the person that will be grading it!
  • Unless you enjoy pain, break the paper up– Your most likely not kin to the Hulk or Super Man. So, unless you enjoy being up until the sun and moon cross, break your paper up into smaller “mini papers”. For example, if you have a ten page paper break it up into two pages for five days until the due date.
  • Proofread your final draft– This is one thing I falter on a lot. After doing that ten page monster I don’t want to read over it again! But, proofreading is one of the most important post paper activities you can do. Don’t trust yourself? Give it to one of your willing classmates, go to your school’s writing lab (they do exist), or bother your professor again. It would be a shame finding “cunt” when you really meant “cant”.

Next time you find yourself about to have a mental breakdown about that term paper, just remember this is college and expected of you. Breathe. It’s just a paper.



3 Comments to “Seven Page Paper!? (Jumps Out Window)”

  1. I enjoyed this post :) ….you tell those whiners! Psh, I’m happy when a paper is only 7 pages, that’s nothing.

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